99+ Best 5 Year Anniversary Sayings Funny: Make Your Spouse Laugh on Your Big Day

Let's face it, marriage isn't always a bed of roses. There are disagreements, annoying habits, and those moments when you just want to give each other the silent treatment. But that's what makes it real, right? And laughter? Well, that's the glue that holds it all together. Injecting some humor into your 5th-anniversary celebration can lighten the mood, create lasting memories, and remind you why you fell in love in the first place. As a writer, I've always found that humor is a powerful tool. It can connect people, heal wounds, and make even the toughest situations a little bit easier.

Funny 5 Year Anniversary Sayings (General)

Whether you're celebrating a first anniversary or 50 years of marriage, these 5 Year Anniversary Sayings Funny are especially apropos for married couples with a serious sense of humor. Here are funny anniversary messages to to celebrate last year and get psyched for what next year has in store.

• “Five years down, forever to go... or at least until we finish this Netflix series.”
• "Happy anniversary! We've officially mastered the art of arguing without actually saying a word."
• "Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond. But after a while, you wish you had a club and a spade."
• "I love you more than coffee... but not always before my first cup."
• "They say love is blind. I guess that explains why I married you." (Said with a wink, of course!)
• “Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.”
• "You're my lifetime subscription to love."
• "Happy 5th anniversary! Five years, 60 months, 260 weeks, or 1,825 days—however you count it, it all adds up to love."
• "Today we celebrate the best decision you've ever made."

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• "Being married to me for the rest of your life is the real anniversary gift."
• "Even though we have more grey hair, wrinkles and body aches, celebrating our marriage anniversary never gets old."
• "I know that loving me isn't always easy, but at least it's worth it."
• "Choosing you makes up for all the bad decisions I've ever made."
• "For better or worse, I still choose you."
• "Sorry, no refunds. Happy anniversary!"
• "Saying 'I Do' to you for the rest of my life is the smartest thing I ever did."
• "Another year together and I'd still choose you over a room full of puppies."
• "Let's pinky swear we'll celebrate every wedding anniversary like it's our first."
• "Forgot to cancel my 30-day marriage trial... Phew!"
• "A happy marriage is basically like an endless sleepover with a best friend."
• "If love is blind then marriage is a real eye-opener. Thank god we're a perfect match and our married life is super hot."
• "Our marriage is like a deck of cards. It includes two hearts and a diamond but also two jokers at the end of the day."

Funny 5 Year Anniversary Sayings for Him

Congratulations on five years of marriage! The greatest 5 Year Anniversary Sayings Funny for husband will make him feel like he’s on top of the world. Send him a card with a thoughtful 5 year anniversary gift and a handwritten note with a personal remark about how much you care about him.

• “Happy anniversary to the man who still makes me laugh, even when I want to strangle him.”
• "You're the only person I can tolerate watching football with... even though you always hog the remote."
• "I love you even when you leave your socks on the floor... but please pick them up anyway."
• "You're my favorite pain in the butt. Happy anniversary!"
• "Thanks for putting up with my crazy for five years. You deserve a medal... or at least a beer."
• “Best fifth anniversary wishes to you honey, see our love has made our lives so wonderful.”
• “There is no end to a wedding anniversary when love is always full and growing each and every day.” – Byron Pulsifer.
• “You are, and always have been, my dream.” – Nicholas Sparks.
• “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love… I love… I love you. I never wish to be parted from you from this day on.” – Mr. Darcy.
• “I can’t realize how time has flown and 5 years have passed since our love united! Happy wedding anniversary, my love! You have given me the most beautiful 5 years of my life and hope to continue this. May God bless us and our lovely relationship!”
• “You are not just my husband but my best friend. Thanks for always fooling around with me. Happy five years together!”

• “You are truly a blessing from God. Thank you for being my partner, husband, lover, and friend. Happy anniversary!”
• “The secret to having a good marriage is to understand that marriage must be total, it must be permanent and it must be equal.” – Frank Pittman.
• “I will spend an eternity loving you, caring for you, respecting you, showing you every day that I hold you as high as the stars.” – Steve Maraboli.
• “You were made perfectly to be loved – and surely I have loved you, in the idea of you, my whole life long.” – Elizabeth Barrett Browning.
• “Forever is a measure of time used by people who share an ordinary love. Our extraordinary love is immeasurable… for us, forever just won’t do.” – Steve Maraboli.
• “As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change… I will always keep falling in love with you.” – Karen Clodfelter.
• “Five years, 60 months, 260 weeks, or 1,825 days—however you count it, it all adds up to love.”
• “On one hand you have all the years of your marriage. May you run out of fingers and toes to count all those to come.”
• “Thanks to this wedding milestone, five is my new favorite number.”
• “5 years ago, on this day the best thing had happened in my life. I got married to a person with a wonderful heart. Thanks a lot for choosing me as your life partner. Happy anniversary! I hope our love will never end even after our death.”
• “I see more years to spend in loving and caring for you, always respecting you, showering you with love and blessings. Happy fifth wedding anniversary.”
• “The biggest happiness on earth is the wedding anniversary and luckily, we are cherishing it together. Happy fifth anniversary wishes.”
• “On the occasion of the fifth wedding anniversary, lots of love to you. I promise to always stay loyal and true in love.”

Funny 5 Year Anniversary Sayings for Her

We’ve all heard that men have a hard time writing a good message for their spouses. The significance of this 5 Year Anniversary Sayings Funny has never been greater. Make your wife feel extra special with these five-year anniversary quotes.

• “Happy anniversary to the woman who can make me laugh, cry, and scream all in the same day.”
• "You're the only person who can make me feel like I'm losing my mind... and still make me love you."
• "I love you more than shoes... almost."
• "You're my best friend, my soulmate, and the only person who can tolerate my shopping addiction."
• "Thanks for being the peanut butter to my jelly, the cheese to my macaroni, and the wine to my Netflix binge."
• “I see more years to spend in loving and caring for you, always respecting you, showering you with love and blessings. Happy fifth wedding anniversary.”
• “A successful marriage is a long journey that always seems too short. Lucky to share special moments on the fifth happy wedding anniversary!”
• “If a five-year wedding gift is silverware, then a happy day to you two spoons."
• “I never loved you any more than I do, right this second. And I’ll never love you any less than I do, right this second.” – Kami Garcia.
• “Baby, Happy Anniversary! You are the jam to my peanut butter! I’m so attracted to you.” – Unknown.
• “Love grows more tremendously full, swift, poignant, as the years multiply.” – Zane Grey.

• “The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they’re right if you love to be with them all the time.” – Julia Child.
• “Anniversaries are not made just for two married people but, instead, are made for soul mates; you, my sweetheart, you are that one and only soulmate.” – Byron Pulsifer.
• “Congratulations on this anniversary. You’ve had 5 amazing years of happiness and love, with many more to come.”
• “Looking at you every day for the past five years makes me wonder, how lucky I am to have you as my wife. Wishing you a very happy anniversary!”
• “Congratulations to us for completing the 5th season of love! You are not only a lovely wife but also the best mother. I want to walk at your side forever and want to share all my joys and sorrows. May we continue to be happy like this!”
• “5 years ago, on this day the best thing had happened in my life. I got married to a person with a wonderful heart. Thanks a lot for choosing me as your life partner. Happy anniversary! I hope our love will never end even after our death.”
• “You are one of my favorite couples. You make us all believe in true love. Happy fifth anniversary and wishing you many more to come.”
• “I am lucky that I get to see you smile every single day, and I am even luckier to call you mine. I wish you a very happy 5th year of our married life.”
• “Hoping this special day is filled with the light of love, the joy of fulfillment, and the blessing of true happiness. Congrats on our 5th wedding anniversary.”
• “5 years ago today you made the happiest man alive. I will always love you, happy anniversary”
• “As we grow older together, As we continue to change with age, There is one thing that will never change. I will always keep falling in love with you after 5 years. (inspired by Karen Clodfelter)”
• “You have been the most important part of my life in the last five years. I promise you that you will always be the most important part of my life until we die. Happy anniversary honey!”
• “Five years ago on this day, our souls became one. I feel so blessed to be your life partner. Thanks for respecting my feelings and for always understanding me. Happy 5 years of togetherness!”

5 Year Anniversary Sayings for Social Media

• “Five years and still going strong! #CoupleGoals #Anniversary”
• "Happy anniversary to my partner in crime! Thanks for making life an adventure. #5YearsStrong"
• "Marriage is like a walk in the park... Jurassic Park! #LoveAndLaughter #Anniversary"
• "To the love of my life, my best friend, my biggest pain in the butt. Happy anniversary! #StillLaughing"
• "Five years, two kids, three dogs, and a mortgage later... we're still sane (mostly). #AnniversaryShenanigans"
• “Happy 5th Anniversary! High five! We've officially been married longer than most reality TV marriages last. ”
• “Five years down, forever to go (unless Netflix cancels our favorite show). Happy Anniversary, my love!”
• "Happy 5th Anniversary! We've mastered the art of the silent treatment, perfected the "look" that communicates entire novels, and somehow survived another year of in- laws. Here's to many more years of unspoken communication and questionable family gatherings!"
• “Remember when we thought five years of marriage would mean more sleep and less laundry? Turns out, love is just a fancy word for shared chores and endless cuddles. Happy Anniversary!”

• “Congratulations to a truly special couple for completing five years of companionship. The love and respect you share are remarkable. Happy fifth anniversary!”
• “Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing, and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” – Ann Landers.”
• “Come, let’s be a comfortable couple and take care of each other! How glad we shall be, that we have somebody we are fond of always, to talk to and sit with.” – Charles Dickens.
• “Have you ever had the sensation of looking at someone for the first time and ever so quickly the past and future seem to fuse? Does that not mean something? That we felt so much, so deeply, before even speaking?” – Charles Dickens.
• “I feel so loved and truly blessed. My best friend, my love. The kindest man who inspires me every day. Happy Anniversary to the best husband and daddy in the world!! EVER!” – Victoria Beckham.

Tips for Using Funny Anniversary Sayings

Remember, humor is subjective. Choose sayings that resonate with your partner's sense of humor and your relationship dynamic. Deliver them with a smile and a playful attitude. And don't forget to follow them up with a genuine expression of love and appreciation. After all, a little laughter goes a long way, but it's the love that truly matters.

Conclusion (Summarize and Inspire)

So, there you have it – a collection of funny 5 Year Anniversary Sayings  to spice up your celebration. Embrace the humor in your marriage, laugh together, and remember why you said "I do" in the first place. Here's to many more years of love, laughter, and happily ever after... or at least until the next Netflix binge!